Isn’t this the cycle of life, played out in different scenarios and circumstances? We’re walking along the path, feeling like everything has finally come together—we are truly thriving—and suddenly an obstacle or two is thrown our way. That peace and tranquillity we were feeling has dissipated. We are unsure, uncertain, confused, and off balance. Our inner certainty has turned to inner chaos, and we don’t know how to get it back.

Eckhart Tolle reminds us that “whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” I’ve felt the truth of this lately. We’ve been searching for a home before our lease ends in less than two months, and the more I’ve resisted the uncertainty, the louder it has become.

This year I welcomed uncertainty and reframed it as adventure, but let me tell you, while we have been house hunting, I have found myself clinging to the certainty of each potential house. I have found it even more important to stick to the certainties in life that are within my control, as opposed to those outside of it. I can’t control how many people bid against a house, or how much money they have to offer—as well as what houses are listed in the areas we are looking in. What I can control are my habits and routines that anchor me to the present moment and give me all the certainty I need to stay in love, not panic or fear. House hunting is just one example—internal certainty can carry you through whatever life throws your way, because it is a gateway to love and presence.

Here are the four anchors I return to when I need to remember how to stay grounded.

1. Move your body to calm your mind

During times of chaos, I try to up my body movement. I go for walks in nature with my husband and the kids whenever I have a spare moment. Not only does this work my body, but it also clears my mind. It’s almost like a windscreen wiper effect on my mind, and I always come back with clarity, even if I don’t have all the answers in that one moment. Perspective is all I need to stay calm and focused in the present moment.

2. Use your hands to stay grounded in the present

There is an art to focusing your hands on a task. I love cooking for this reason. The preparation, the creativity behind the recipe, or spontaneous creation, as well as literally getting my hands dirty. The kids and I recently did a sourdough-making class led by a homeschool parent in the local community. Since that class, I have made it a priority to bake at least one loaf each week. I find myself enjoying the whole process, and because I’m so new to this sourdough world, I really have to focus. It has been such a peaceful way to stay grounded.

3. Let music be your anchor

Music is timeless. It’s there for us whenever we need it. It lifts us up, it showers us with empathy. It helps us release, express and embrace parts of ourselves and our lives. Music, along with body movement—and when I say body movement, you know I mean dancing in the kitchen—is the easiest way for me to feel energised, alive and full of bliss. Because we have such an emotional connection to it, music can anchor us back to the certainty within—and calm us when everything outside feels loud.

I could write a whole post about the benefits of music and why I believe it makes the world go round, but for now just know that research suggests listening to music can help lower cortisol, our main stress hormone, and that music we find deeply pleasurable releases dopamine in the brain’s reward system. And if it’s a song you know and love, it becomes an anchor you can return to anytime.

4. Breathe to come home to yourself

Marcus Aurelius has the famous quote, “When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstances, revert at once to yourself, and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help. You’ll have a better grasp of the harmony if you keep on going back to it.”

At the end of the day, we can move our bodies, listen to music, focus on our hands and try to let go of the uncertainty outside our control, but if we don’t connect with ourselves outside of all the noise, then we won’t be able to focus on what is truly ours to hold.

For me, the deepest way to stay grounded begins with the breath. It’s the one certainty I carry everywhere—in the car between classes, at the kitchen bench while the sourdough proves, in the middle of an open inspection with strangers walking through rooms I’ve already begun imagining as ours.

The other day, we were standing in the garden of a potential home. I looked out at the trees, feeling the stillness and the sun shining on my face, and I knew that whatever house we choose, we’ll be together—and this present moment is already full of life. A slow breath in. A longer breath out. Nothing outside of me has changed, but I have. I’m back in my body, back in this moment, back to the rhythm Marcus Aurelius was pointing to.

Certainty was never going to come from the house, the auction, or the answer we’re waiting for. It lives within us—in the walks, the dough under our fingers, the song playing in the kitchen, the breath we return to again and again. The chaos will come and go. It always does. But the harmony is ours to keep returning to—and every time we do, we come home to ourselves.

If this season is asking you to slow down, you might like The Week I Slowed Down: 5 Nervous-System Reset Habits.